Hospitality Part 1

A month or so ago I was asked to speak briefly on hospitality at our church's womens retreat. With the holiday season quickly approaching I thought I would share my talk.
I will post this in several parts in the coming days.

Christmas Day at our home, several years ago, included a large and diverse group. It included a “stray” student or two, far from home, and a 92 year old farmer, who was ever so silent and who had no immediate family around, along with several of the our family “greys” as I called them, various senior grandparents, aunts and uncles, with varying degrees of needs, .....ironically now it is my generation in the family that are the “greys”.... anyway, to finish off the guest list my hairdresser who had recently separated from his wife.

Our daughters, having been to get haircuts, heard that he was planning to be alone with a few bottles of wine on Christmas Day. His family newly separated, and depressed without his children, his own parents and siblings in England...he was alone. When they arrived home they exclaimed....”Mom, he’s all alone.....He’s going to sit and drink, Christmas Day, all alone...it’s so sad....” Their meaning was clear. “Invite him” they urged me silently, mentally....“let’s invite him” How wonderful that their sense of hospitality is so strong.

.... However, My internal response was inhospitable to say the least. NO my insides yelled, I don’t want to have yet another person, there is enough going on already, lots of elderly are coming, they may require attention, lots of work to get that huge meal on the table, I won’t have the time to make him feel welcome, really I hardly know him, what will I even talk to him about....I had no shortage of excuses going through my mind.

But then, predictably, by this point in my life, the pressing in began, the familiar feeling, the clear leading, that I could either choose to ignore or obey. Sighing, feeling put upon, with a very bad attitude in place, I marched across the room, and picked up the phone. OK, I sighed to the girls, I’ll call. “Tom”, I began trying to make my voice bright and encouraging, the girls mentioned that you are on your own on Christmas Day,... why don’t you come to us. We’re having quite a large group, lots of different people, you’ll feel quite comfortable, come and spend the day with us, don’t be alone....as I spoke the sincerity of my invitation strengthened,and my enthusiasm grew, until by the end of my chatty invitation I was almost imploring him. A long pause followed my invitation....finally he spoke. “ But ...are you sure you want me...after all, I’m Jewish” .... the odd response took me by surprise, No problem, I said lightly, .....so was Jesus. Say you’ll come! (I still don’t know what possessed me to say that...well I guess I do. )

And he did. As far as I could tell he had a good time. He ate lots, chatted lots, drank little, and was skunked at Crokinole by 3 seniors, one of whom was my mother in law who beat him soundly even after he insisted she remove her eyeglasses. Years later, upon running into Tom and his daughter, he introduced me to her, and then said “that was where I went for that Special Christmas I told you about.”

Hospitality. Something I have done alot of, and have been exceedingly blessed by doing. It’s not easy for me to extend hospitality. I’m not a Martha Stewart, my home is far from perfect, I’m a plain cook, and a fairly private person who enjoys my private space.

Over the years, however, I have found myself inviting people so many times, unable to ignore the Lord pushing down on me, and sensing their need to be included, or encouraged, or nourished or simply loved....


Proverbs 31:20 says “ She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy.” The poor and needy are not only those lacking in food or shelter, but also those who are alone, or lonely, especially the elderly, and those far from home. We have had many a foreign students at our table, missionaries, a family needing fellowship, new people from church, and those who simply needed encouragement, all who fall into the category of needy.

Prov 31:27 She watches over the ways of her household
And does not eat the bread of idleness. The ways of her household include hospitality. Her household is prepared and ready to extend itself to those in need. She has often planned in advance to extend hospitality...she may not know to whom yet, but her household is ready. Her household is not perfect, but is looking forward to sharing food, companionship, comfort and a sense of belonging with whomever may be seated at the table.

Hospitality is not about you. it’s about making others feel warm and welcome. A welcoming home. How do you achieve that? We will look at this in the next part.

blessings,
Niki